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September 20 My New House!Here are some photo's of my new house. I should have taken some earlier ones from the slab up...but I was slack! Lol. But this is where it is up to at the moment. We will probably be moving in around November...I am in two minds about this. The house is less than half the size of the one I am in now...and we have too much furniture, and the section is almost non-existant...and our neighbours are all around us because of it. We have to stay there for a minimum of two years to cut our taxes. I am a little pissed off that we can't rent it, but if we did, IRD would want a huge chunk of the profit. I'm not into that!
OUT OF EXILEI have changed the name of my band from Wildflower to OUT OF EXILE to reflect the type of music we play...which is Alternative, Metal & Rock! Our first gig is at the Spirit'd Bar on December the 12th, although we are playing tonight at Tim's house...just for the hell of it and to get some feedback about our sound etc. And to build up a following.
We play songs from SEETHER, INCUBUS, 3 DOORS DOWN, SUBLIME, NIRVANA etc. Watch this space.
I would love to sing once or twice a week EVERY week if I can! Jx August 24 Hi everyone...I'm back!Hi everyone. I'm back! I have been so busy with my band 'Misled'. Loads of gigs. Check out my gig guide on www.eventfinder.co.nz and type in Wildflower Entertainment for a list of all my bands gigs. I am also trying to start up another band called 'Wildflower' and I think I have found the right musicians. We will be meeting soon to start to tackle the song list and be ready for Summer. We practice downstairs in my newly decorated lounge. The perfect size!
My house is almost built. I am in the process of selling furniture on Trade Me as the house will be too small for all my junk.We will be renting out the home we are in now until the market picks up again in a couple of years. I will miss my spa pool more than anything! I will post some photo's of our new house as soon as I drag out my camera...watch this space.
Speaking of water, it just hasn't stopped raining! I am sick to death of the cold, wet miserable days. They reckon it has been the wettest winter on record. I hope that bodes well for our up-coming summer!
My friend Michelle left for the UK last Thursday, so that is also a big hole in my heart at the moment. We have decided to meet in Paris for her 40th in a couple of years. Fingers crossed I might actually get out of the Pacific Rim! I have also been very busy selling all her stuff on Trade Me, as she doesn't have a computer...and that has been some mission I can tell you. People buy the most bizarre things though and sometimes for ridiculous prices. Other people's junk is definitely someone elses treasure!
Nice to see Tiera and Lady Jude still thinking of me and sending me lovely postcards. Thanks guys! Mwa Mwa xx
I guess I am in a different space than I was when I started up this blog. I don't feel as if I have a lot to say these days. I think that is a good thing...not so depressed I suppose!!! Lol. I use this blog mainly as a sounding board to myself and a way of staying in touch with the outside world when I am feeling a little lonely. Being married still has lonely moments. I can actually say that I have a life at the moment, since I joined the band. We are going out to venues and having a blast. The band members are all good people and we gell really well together. Loads of laughter! The best sort of medicine.
Ok, so I don't know what else to say...um...Family wise, Ken's mum is not too good with her leukemia. That will be the next big upheaval. We will eventually have to move to Hamilton to be closer to her and to build another couple of houses on the sections. The change of scene from Auckland might also be a welcome thing.
Other than that, my life seems to be going well and I have some good people surrounding me. Ken and I are doing great. Karma is still pregnant and looking like a cow too! Lol. Not that you or I need reminding that I will be a Nana around the 10th of December. She is having a boy. Liesa is also doing well. No mental/emotional drama's. She has a good job on the North Shore working for a trucking company. Her girlfriend seems to be OK.
So there you have it. A blurb about what is going on with me. Keep in touch all and talk again soon. Jx
June 19 AltitudeCheck out my Event for the band 'ALTITUDE' at www.altitude.events.live.com . I have included a gig guide for you all to see, in case you are in the area and feel like going to a LIVE gig! Jx June 04 The Band - ALTITUDEHi everyone. I have started up an Entertainment promotion business called WILDFLOWER ENTERTAINMENT. I am managing a rather special classic rock band called Altitude. Andrews studio can be viewed on my website list on the right under Andrew Davenport and Edgeworth Studios, for further information.
The bands gig-guide is:
Bar Africa Fri 6th June
Mangawhai Hotel Fri 20th June
Tuakau Tavern Sat 28th June and 19th July
Counties Inn Manukau Fri 4th July
Glenfield Tavern Fri 11th July andFri 8th Aug
Lapadella Sat 12th July
Kentish Hotel Fri 18th July
Parakai Tavern Fri 1st Aug
The Western Lights Fri 29th Aug
Come along and support this awesome band playing all your favourites like Led Zeppelin, Deep Purple, Jethro Tull, Black Sabbath, Pink Floyd, Bad Company, Fleetwood Mac, The Cult, Cream and much more!
Jx
June 02 MISLED - PlaylistThis is the new line up of songs I am singing in my new band MISLED:
Brass in Pocket The Pretenders
Stuck in the middle Steelers Wheels
Breakdown Tom Petty
Feel Like Makin' Love Bad Company
Pull up to my Bumper Grace Jones
Hot Child in the City Kim Wilde
Steal my Kisses Ben Harper
Brown Eyed Girl Van Morrison
I Don't Wanna Lover Texas
Takin' Care of Business Bachman Turner Overdrive
Santeria Sublime
Long Cool Woman The Hollies
Boys Light Up Australian Crawl
Wish You Well Bernard Fanning
Sexy Thing Hot Chocolate
Whats Up 4 Non Blondes
Do Do Me Like That Tom Petty
Dreadlock Holiday 10CC
Have you ever seen Rain CCR
Love is the Drug Bryan Ferry
Wildflower The Cult
Red Red Wine UB40
Cherry Bomb John (Cougar) Mellencamp
Rockin' Me Baby Steve Miller Band
You Oughta Know Alanis Morrisette
De do do do The Police
The Warrior Patty Smythe
Fly Away Lenny Kravitz
Are You Gonna Go My Way Lenny Kravitz
Sweet Home Alabama CCR
April Sun in Cuba Dragon
Hit Me with your Best Shot Pat Benetar
Play that Funky Music Wild Cherry
500 Miles The Proclaimers
Bad Moon Rising John Foggarty
I Got You Split Enz
Born to be Wild Steppenwolf
Black Magic Woman Santana
Hurt so Good John (Cougar) Mellencamp
Why Does Love The Exponants
Bring me some Water Melissa Etheridge
Listen to the Music The Doobie Brothers
Summer of 69 Bryan Adams
Hotel California The Eagles
Teenage Dirtbag Wheetus
I Hate myself for loving you Joan Jett & the Blackhearts
GigMy band "Mislead" is playing at the Parakai Tavern on Friday the 13th of June. Come along and support me if you can. Jx May 22 My ShrinkI saw my shrink the other day to get my script re-filled. I always enjoy our small sessions. I have some things to ponder at the moment which is quite interesting. Learned Helplessness, Map of Consciousness and being a square peg trying to fit into a round hole. Nevermind if it doesn't make sense to you...I know what it means for me.
I found the Map of Consciousness useful for understanding the mindset of my Apathy. I was also able to see my husband and some friends by their personalities. It really was quite remarkable how it all translated. Food for much thought.
The Learned Helplessness is a bit more difficult for me to wrap my thoughts around. My pessimism see's to that and it seems to confirm my poor ability to function well, to my detriment. Im not sure how to get out of this hole. I did some Googling and realised that treatment is very difficult...so my pessimism gets a big tick.
I do feel like a square peg trying to fit into a round hole. I am totally afraid of failure. I abducate responsibility, and thereby avoid the risk of making a mistake or failing. Therefore my life is largely thwarted by my own fears. That was not the word I was looking for. Stagnant? Unfulfilling? Unsatisfying? Boring? None of them are the right words but they all add up. I think you will get my drift.
I feel trapped in my body. Like my body is a lead weight and I can't (there's that word again) break free from its grasp. This is just a side effect from my thoughts though. My core beliefs are so negative they are sucking the life out of me. Literally. Apathy. Now there's a great word. Lazy is the layperson's term for it. Lethargy. It all comes from a belief 'Why Bother?', it all turns to shit anyway. My shrink disapproves of me using the terminolgy 'shit' to describe people, places, feelings etc...and for good reason. It describes faeces, bodily waste matter. Not a pleasant description. I can do better.
God! I am a miserable soul. I have such a huge mental block. What to do what to do. All the well meaning words and caring thoughts seem to fall off my shoulders. WAKE UP! WAKE UP! WAKE UP! Jx Ive been a bit down...Over the past few weeks I have been a bit down on myself. Sex has been disasterous and my self esteem has plummeted. I guess in my heart of hearts I have not been satisfied with my lot. My feelings take the shape of a figure 8. Perpetuating and cyclic. A resigned neverending sence of 'not good enough'. My vocabulary has consisted of can't which translates into won't which translates into must and should and ends up sitting inside my head, laughing at what I said (stolen lyrics from Super Groove).
But tonight I managed to feel something remotely like pleasure and surprised myself. I could actually feel. I allowed myself to go with the feelingswhen I noticed a slight twinge and it built from there. It was kinda surprising when it happened for me like it did tonight. I wish I could set the mood and program the feelings to function like that all the time we make love.
I guess I should cut myself some slack and be gentle on myself and realise that I have had a lot of stress on. I like sex to de-stress though, however. But my husband is the opposite, unfortunately. If we're both stressed it doesn't work for either of us. I hassle him for sex and he avoids it. I guess we all have issues like that sometimes. It feels like it happens a lot for me.
Anyway...I have one more blog to write for tonight. Jx GiggingMy new band is giging tomorrow night at the Swanson RSA. I am doing a couple of songs...nothing major, just Listen to the Music (The Doobie Brothers) and Hotel California. The old singer still has a couple of nights of singing left. I really hope this band works out. I had a great band practice last night. Singing moves something in me on a spiritual and physical level when I get to express myself in music. The new band is called "Mislead" . It is made up of my old bass player from Zoot Allures. Come along if you can. Jx April 16 Its raining! Hi everyone, I'm bored today. It is raining and I have finished all my rennovating projects. Ken is not quite ready for me to do the downstairs bedroom or kitchen yet...so...I am in another limbo land. I have put up five beautiful copper fish in the downstairs bathroom and toilet though which make it look awesome, and rearranged some pieces of art for the walls downstairs. Just little touches that make the home look and feel aesthetically pleasing.
I do have a massive project to do in a couple of weeks. I will be preparing and painting the entire interior of my 3 bedroom rental property! That means: cleaning all ceilings, trim and walls, plastering up any holes, sanding, undercoating and two top coats. ALL BY MY SELF!! It will be a huge endeavour but will save so much money and keep me occupied so I don't go insane. Ken is waiting to hear back for a quote to concrete the driveways and two vehicle crossings (the only thing left to do for the sec 224c and title). He is also organising a quote to paint the exterior of our rental too. We have to make the home appealing to buyers...and if it means spending some money then so-be-it. We have decided to keep the house that we are living in and doing up at the moment, as an investment property. Char and Deni may be moving into it when we move in to our new home. Char has lived with us two or three times for a year or so at a time over the years so she ha a love for it. I won't have to worry about it being trashed.
Anyway...I am cooking beef cassarole for dinner. I had pork last night. My father grows pigs and beef so we get free meat every now and again. Yum. We have been living on bacon bone boil up soup of late, due to the weather. Nothing like soup on a wet miserable day. But enough is enough. I love my meat and three vege too.
Ok well, I had also thought about doing some creative artwork on canvas today but the weather has not inspired me. I need sunlight...which is sort of the opposie really. You would think if it is wet, painting indoors would be ideal. Bye for now. Jx Karma is pregnant again!Karma is PREGNANT!   She just phoned me shaking and crying asking me if 2 lines meant she is pregnant! Lol. She is so very very happy and overwhelmed with joy at this moment. I'm gonna be a NANA!!!!!  I am so happy I could just...  She is due on the 14th of December, so still early days yet, but she has had it confirmed by the GP and is awaiting the results of her blood tests. Fingers crossed! JxApril 15 The 2nd lounge is finishedI have been very busy over the past month preparing my downstairs lounge and stairwell. It has been an absolute nightmare! I forgot that when I painted it the first time, I just did a quick cover up to tidy it up...and now I have to go around and bog holes and even out rough spots and sand, sand, sand!
I've only just stopped sanding, literally. I am sitting here at my desk covered in plaster and dust. My hair is like straw. My hands and skin are like sandpaper and so DRY!
It is such a huge room with the bar removed. It will make an excellent extended family home when we sell. Fingers crossed we get over $500k for it. It is now 270m2. A huge house.
All I have to do now is carpet and replace some of the lights with downlights and voila!
Anyway, that is my rave for the night. Talk soon. Jx April 07 Char and Deni's WeddingMy friend Charmain Ghio got married to Dennis Wilkinson on Friday the 4th of April. They decided to sneak off to a registry office instead of having a big expensive wedding. Me and her mother were meant to be witnesses, but on the day, Char's mother was too ill to make it and so Ken and I were going to be witnesses...except Ken and I had an argument the night before and he was sulking on the couch and refused to go...so when I arrived at the registry office, it was panick stations as they needed Ken! I had to drive all the way back home to practically drag him off the couch. We arrived at the registry office, only to find we didn't know where to go and they had turned off their phones. I thought she had done a runner because she was so upset that everything was going wrong on her wedding day and she mentioned she wasn't going to do it. I panicked and phoned her parents and told them I couldn't find her, and that I thought she had done a runner (freaking them out!). Finally I was able to reach Deni...then out they all walked from the locked room next to us...already bloody married! What a fiasco! But very humerous in the end. I bloody missed my friends wedding because of running around after my sulking husband! Never again!!!!!
On the way around to her parents place, Ken decided to continue to sulk and got out of the car at the lights and walked home. I continued to party...but Char's dad phoned him and he came up on his bike! It was just as well too. I was not in the mood!
March 31 The house sale has fallen through...Well so much for our house sale going unconditional! We found out today that it has all turned to custard. So we are now looking at another option.
a) Move out of our house into the rental, paint it, do the vehicle crossing and concrete the driveway. By that time, title should be through and we will also be next door to our new house, making it handier for Ken to build.
b) Rent out our house to cover the mortgage on it
c) Sell the rental when we move into our new house, and hope the market is stabilised.
Not much else we can do at the moment. We were just so lucky to have been given some inheritance money! Phew!!! March 14 For all my GAY friends!Please don't be offended!
 I think this is rather funny and obviously written by a closet homosexual as he seems to know an awful lot!  "Am I Gay?" Self Examination For Men > > 1. If you are over forty, and you have a washboard stomach, you are gay. > It means you haven't sucked back enough beer with the boys and have > spent the rest of your free time doing sit-ups, aerobics, and doing the > Oprah diet. > > 2. If you have a cat, you are a Flaaaaming homo. A cat is like a dog, > but gay -- it grooms itself constantly but never scratches itself, has a > delicate touch except when it uses its nails, and whines to be fed. And > just think about how you call a dog... "Killer, come here! I said get > your ass over here, Killer!" Now think about how you call a > cat..."Bun-bun, come to daddy, snookums!" Jeeezus, you're fit to be > framed, you're so gay. (MMMMmm, the phrase 'get your ass over here' could also be a latent tendency toward beasiality) > > 3. If you suck on lollipops, Ring-Pops, baby pacifiers, or any such > nonsense, rest assured, you are a Gaylord. A straight man only sucks on > bar-B-que ribs, crab claws, raw oysters, crawfish guts, pickled pigs > feet, or tits. Anything else and you are in training and undeniably a > fag. > > 4. If you refuse to take a dump in a public bathroom or piss in a > parking lot, you crave a deep homosexual relationship. > A man's world is his bathroom; he goes wherever he pleases. > > 5. If you drink anything other than regular coffee. A straight man will > never be heard ordering a "Decaf Soy Latte". If you've put a Decaf Soy > Latte to your lips, you've had a man there, too. > > 6. If you know more than six names of non standard colors or four > different types of dessert other than ice cream and pie, you might as > well be handing out free ass passes. A real man doesn't have memory > space in his brain to remember all of that crap. If you can pick out > chartreuse or you know what a "fressier" is you're gay. And if you can > name ANY type of textile other than cotton or denim, you are > faggadocious. > > 7. If you drive with both hands on the wheel, forget it, you're dying to > tune a meat whistle. A man only puts both hands on the wheel to honk at > a slow-ass driver or to cut off the jerk. The rest of the time he needs > that hand to change the radio station, eat a hamburger, or hold his > beer. > > 8. If you do not send this off to all the males on your email list > because you are afraid of hurting their feelings then you are definitely > on the verge on being a fudgepacker. March 13 My new jobI started my new job yesterday. I am sort of working for myself but in our own building business. We got a sole contract to build small portible homes, which seem to be the big rage in New Zealand. Only 60-100 m2 or so. The homes are already pre-sold, however it is up to the owner if he wants us or someone else to build on site for them. My job is to project manage the job and collect all the relevant quotes from all the required sub-trades, add 10% for my commission, then present the new owners with a complete quotation for the work. 9x out of 10, they will accept the quote as we are already familiar with erecting them and have 100% support of the company that sells the specific brand of home.
I feel like I am contributing more in our company in which I am only a director...lol. Sometimes it feels wierd drawing a weekly wage for doing sweet FA. I do, do the books and other office work, but this feels a bit more meaty and hands on. I enjoy people and it is nice to make new aquaintances. I do physically help Ken on site occasionally. I have done for years. I love the variety and the challenge of learning a new skill. I have nailed off roofs, handed up sheets of iron, nailed off decks, cut timber, plastered, painted, tied off steel (horrible dirty job!), cleaned up the building site, run errands, built fences, landscaped etc etc etc. I need my autonomy but I also enjoy the application of repetetive jobs sometimes. I just tend to zone out for a while and do a lot of internal processing. It is quite therapeutic.
The best part of being on the job with Ken and the team is the jovial comraderie. God we have some laughs and take the piss out of each other!
It makes for a good day and everyone feels good. March 12 Karma Miscarried...Karma miscarried but she is feeling OK about it. She has been on Depo Provera for a long time, and it takes ages to get out of the system. She has been trying for a baby for about a year now, and this is her first pregnancy which suggests that her body is preparing itself for the real thing. Both myself and my eldest daughter Liesa miscarried on our first pregnancy's. It is very common. I'm sure she will continue to hae fun trying... hehe JxMarch 06 The Downstairs Lounge and StairwellI've started work on my next project. We ripped out the bar today. We felt the house would have more re-sale value if it was just a huge lounge rather than a bar. I went around pulling out all the staples from our parties, while Deni started sanding down and painting the window sills in the stairwell.  Photo's are coming... Thank GOD! for InheritanceKens father left us a fair amount of inheritance. It has now paid off all our overdue taxes, and we are paying the final fee's to council for our subdivision. We have about $70k left to finish rennovating our house. He would have been pleased that he has helped us through our rough patch. Hell! I am over-the-moon!!!!! I think it is safe to say that we are out of the shit now and looking forward to making some big bucks with our development projects. Jx |
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